The differences between the first and second children may vary depending on family situations, parental experiences and individual characteristics of the children. Here are fifteen possible differences that are often mentioned:
- Parental attention: The first child often receives more individual attention because he or she is the only one. The second child must share the parents' attention with the older brother or sister.
- Parental experience: Parents are often less nervous and more experienced raising the second child because they have already had experience with the first child.
- Toys and clothes: The second child often receives toys and clothes passed down from the first child, while the first child often receives new items.
- Rules and expectations: Parents can be stricter with the first child and more lenient with the second, as they learn what works and what doesn't.
- Social skills: The second child can develop social skills earlier because he or she interacts with an older sibling from the beginning.
- Age difference: The first child is always the eldest and the second child is always the youngest (until a third comes along), which can affect their role in the family.
- Independence: The second child can become independent sooner because parents have less time to constantly help, and the child can learn from the example of the older child.
- Competition and rivalry: There may be more rivalry between the second child and the first child as they fight for parental attention and resources.
- Guidance and support: The first child often receives more guidance in learning new skills, while the second child sometimes learns by following the first child's example.
- Personality: The second child may develop a different character due to the dynamics with the first child, for example being more or less dominant.
- Play time: The second child more often has a playmate at home, which can lead to less loneliness but also to more conflicts.
- Family photos and memories: The first child often has more photos and documented milestones because everything is new to the parents.
- Health and safety: Parents may be more relaxed about the health and safety of the second child because they are less anxious from previous experience.
- School and education: Parents can be more realistic in their expectations and support for schoolwork and activities for the second child.
- Responsibility: The first child may feel more responsibility to be an example and the second child may experience more freedom due to the less strict rules and expectations.
These differences are of course generalizations and will not apply to every family. Every child and every parental situation is unique.
