Recurrent miscarriage.

We speak of a recurrent miscarriage after two or more miscarriages. In the case of a repeated miscarriage, the child/fruit usually does not develop properly. The problem often arises during fertilization. The child/fruit does not grow and is rejected. This is the same as with one-off miscarriages.
It does not matter whether you had one or more children before or between the miscarriages. Experiencing a (repeated) miscarriage is sad, but it does not immediately mean that there is something wrong with your health or that you can no longer become pregnant. Many women think that recurrent miscarriages are caused by an illness in themselves or her partner. That thought makes sense, but is usually wrong. We can only find a cause in about 15% of couples.
About 1-3% of all women who become pregnant experience recurrent miscarriages.

After two miscarriages it is possible to investigate the cause of the miscarriages. If you want to investigate the cause of the miscarriages, you must not have been pregnant for 3 months and you must also not be pregnant at the time of the investigations. It is also good to know that a cause is only found in approximately 15%. Many women (depending on their age) eventually have a healthy child, despite having had repeated miscarriages.

Recovery after a miscarriage.

Physically, the body recovers quickly after a miscarriage. You can and may become pregnant again immediately after a miscarriage. But the emotional recovery is different. How you feel after the miscarriage depends on various factors, such as the circumstances, how you experience it and what the pregnancy meant to you.

One person can pick up the thread of her life quite quickly. The other person needs more time to come to terms with the loss and her feelings. Common feelings are: angry, empty, sad, lonely, jealous, guilty, anxious, less self-confidence.
A miscarriage often has more impact than you initially expect. This can take you by surprise. Rationally, it often seems logical to continue and seek distraction, but your feelings and body say otherwise. You are tired, lethargic and have little interest in activities.

What can help to make sense of the loss?

• Be kind to yourself and give yourself time and rest. All the feelings you have are allowed and are normal. Allow them. Hiding and denying doesn't help; sooner or later they will come out.
• Talk about it with people you trust. This could be your partner, but also a friend, colleague or family member. Or people you don't know yet, such as fellow sufferers on the internet.

Keep in mind that everyone reacts differently to the loss, including you and your partner. Some partners feel little sadness; for them the pregnancy was even less noticeable than for you. Others pretend to be proud, or say they feel little sadness, because they want to be strong for their wife. The most important thing is to give each other space, make time to listen to each other and not judge the other person's feelings.

• Make a nice souvenir yourself, make a box/folder with memories of the fetus/child (pregnancy test/ultrasound photo, etc.), light a candle

Write a letter, for example about the dreams or wishes you had or how you experienced the farewell.